The holidays often bring about stress and anxiety for me as I know they do for a lot of people. Between carrying on elaborate traditions, baking, and candy making, seeing family, traveling, eating all kinds of things we don’t normally eat, and getting out of our sleep routines, it can be a real struggle to make it through feeling like our best selves.

I used to tell myself that I could make it through November and December by ramping up my willpower and saying no to desserts, extra stuffing, and holiday cocktails. And guess what happened...I ate and drank everything anyway.

It turned out my willpower couldn’t get me through the holidays, so I felt like a failure day after day for weeks until January when my New Year’s resolution was to get back to where I was before all the Reese’s pumpkins and sugar cookies entered my house. 

In the last few years, I’ve learned a lot about willpower and decided most people can’t rely on it for very long. I know I can’t. Sure, it’s easy to start the day saying we aren’t going to have a doughnut from the break room at work, but as the day goes by, and we keep catching a glimpse or a whiff of those doughnuts, we start to use up that willpower store and end up eating the now stale, dried out pastry because we just couldn’t resist it forever. And we can’t let food go to waste, right? 

Think of willpower like a cell phone battery. At the beginning of the day, it’s charged and ready. It’s easy to say no. Every time you’re tempted by something, it drains that battery just a little. By the end of the day, the battery is dying and all reasonable thought goes out the window. We eat the thing we said we weren’t going to and then we feel like we’ve failed.

The more we draw on our willpower or self-control, the less we have, which is why forming good habits is so important. A habit, by definition, is a behavior that’s recurrent, is cued by a specific context, often happens without much awareness or conscious intent, and is acquired through frequent repetition. 

Think about the habits you already have in place, good or bad. Drinking morning coffee? Falling asleep with the television on? Brushing your teeth before bed? Eating ice cream after dinner? Daily exercise? Scrolling through Facebook while you eat lunch? 

These are just things we automatically do. There is no thinking involved with them. At some point, we decided I’m going to make this part of my day. This is what I do. So, we made a decision and now we don’t have to decide anymore. We were mindful of these things when we started them, but now we do them mindlessly. 

As the holidays approach, it’s a good time to continue the healthy habits we have already started. 

Keep exercising regularly. 

Keep eating nutritious foods most of the time. 

Keep drinking plenty of water every day. 

If you don’t already have these in place, it’s a good time to think about establishing them - before the holidays are in full swing and you’re constantly using up your supply of willpower.

We don’t have to go into these colder months and shorter days setting ourselves up for unrealistic expectations and ultimately, failure. Instead, we can make some small decisions NOW and be consistent - notice I didn’t say “perfect” - and come out feeling great in January. We can plan to indulge, but not to the point of sickness.  

Here are a few examples of reasonable goals that will allow you to enjoy yourself without going overboard and that won’t have you relying on willpower: 

“I’m going to drink 64 oz of water before I go to any holiday gathering and have a glass of water between alcoholic drinks” instead of “I’m not going to have any alcohol tonight.”

“I’m going to stick to one plate of food and try a little of all my favorites rather than stuff myself” instead of “I’m not eating my grandma’s famous sugar cookies this year.”

These small, realistic goals are even more effective when you share them with your spouse, a friend or family member. That way, they can help hold you accountable. 

It can be difficult setting these types of goals because we know ourselves all too well and that it’s easy to give in... But with a coach in your corner and some group accountability, it is totally possible to enjoy the holidays without putting your health goals off until the new year.